Saturday, March 23, 2013

Duke 3D: Megaton Edition


Duke Nukem 3D is my favorite video game of all time. As such, I own a couple dozen copies. So why, pray tell, is a Steam release any particular interest to me? Well, Steam achievements- but I already got them all on the Xbox version. It's updated for the modern operating systems... but I've already got the GOG release and eDuke32. What in all actuality sets this release apart from other recent releases? ...Alright, I'm not very good at beating around the bush like this so I'll just tell you:
Expansion packs.

Megaton Edition includes not only the Plutonium Pak (which is updates the game to the Atomic Edition, and is pretty much standard in every release of the game nowadays), but the 3 second party expansions Duke it out in D.C., Duke Caribbean: Life's a Beach, and Duke: Nuclear Winter. I've been looking to get my hands on them for-fucking-ever, but aside from dishing out the big bucks on eBay, getting my hands on an official version of just one of them proved to be a right pain in the arse. The revelation of this promptly filled my trousers with a slick brown substance, and the $8.99 which it is presently on sale for could not have exited my wallet fast enough.

And then I played it. Disappointment is the only word In my mind.

The trailer's heavily flaunted HD facelift seems little more than a sprite filter, the redone music is adequate at best, butchering at worst, and most egregious of all; MOUSE ACCELERATION YOU CAN'T DISABLE. I simply can't find a sweet spot on the slider bar that makes the controls bearable. Also worth noting is that going into the key bindings menu causes a framerate decrease which borders on game-crashing. It simply boggles my mind that a professional studio could botch a conversion that (free to download) fan-made mods have done for years.

Bottom line; Megaton Edition isn't unplayable, but it's a disappointingly bad port of a fantastic game. In all honesty, all my issues could probably be patched (I would hope) but as of now I recommend this & this over it tenfold. I wish I could have gotten the expansions elsewhere.

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